Seven writers on the lies they tell, the truths they stopped believing, and the inhibitions they’ve shed.

By Real Simple Editors
May 14, 2019
Anne Bentley
Anne Bentley

1
No apologies...for my white lie

“I wish I could!” It’s my go-to response when turning down an invitation, but it’s not exactly true.

Well, sometimes it is. For example, if you’re having people over to feed your baby goats, but I have to go out of town for work that day, I really do wish I could come to your farm. I’d rather do that than just about anything.

Read more: I Tell This White Lie All the Time, and I'm Not Sorry About It

Anne Bentley

2
No apologies...for hitting snooze

Whether or not you’re one to google things like the habits of successful people, you have seen headlines such as “Why 4 a.m. Is the Most Productive Hour” (whatever you say, Wall Street Journal). Unless I’ve been forced to book a 7 a.m. flight, I’m still sleeping at 5, 6, 7 a.m.—until 7:30 a.m., when I begin to play a game of snooze chicken with my alarm. As you’ve gathered: I’m not a morning person.

Read more: I Hit Snooze in the Morning—and I’m Not Going to Change My ‘Bad’ Habit

Anne Bentley

3
No apologies...for being vulnerable

I’m about to turn 30. I’ve known my closest group of friends since we were 18, but it was only this year that I was able to tell them how I actually feel when guys (inconsequential ones, usually) mess me around.

These close friends—there are four of them, all excellent, woke white girls—and I talk to each other most days, but I threw them together into one group chat because we realized we were all just repeating ourselves by telling each other the same thing.

Read more: I’m Vulnerable Sometimes, and I’ve Stopped Apologizing for It

Anne Bentley

4
No apologies...for my impossible contradictions

Biting into a forkful of lemony raw kale feels to me like life itself. But also? So do Cheez-Its. These are two true things. I am a grammar nerd—a lifelong defender of the distinction between, say, “I” and “me”—who doesn’t correct anybody anymore because I’m starting to think language is yours to do with as you like. I am an extroverted introvert. I love cooking; I hate making dinner every night. I have a friend who’s lots of fun but a terrible confidant. I dance and drink with her. I tell her nothing important.

Read more: At 50, I've Finally Realized It's OK to Say "I Don't Know"

Anne Bentley

5
No apologies...for being a cat person

Cat people like me have always had to self-identify a little quietly; it’s more socially acceptable to adore pups and their goofy, slobbery affection. But today, dog-ma is out of control. Witness the massively popular Netflix documentary series about good dogs, the wild backlash when a study demonstrated that dogs (duh) aren’t that smart.

Read more: I’m a Cat Person and Proud Of It

Anne Bentley

6
No apologies...for how I live my life

I grew up surrounded by aunties. Women—unrelated to me by blood, of my mother’s era and birthplace—seemed forever in our home or we in theirs, a makeshift family of Indians in Texas, where we all, improbably, lived. Many of these women grew up with wildly different options available to them than my friends and I had. Intergenerational, female-to-female judgment felt unavoidable.

Read more: I Won’t Apologize to Anyone for How I Live My Life

Anne Bentley

7
No apologies...for moving my kid around

My mother was an army brat, so I grew up hearing about how awful it was to move from place to place. I internalized the message that I’d be a terrible parent to do that to my child, if it could be avoided. Now, 30 years later, I have a son, Oliver, who has lived in 10 places in seven cities across two countries.

Read more: I Believed You Had to Put Down Roots to Have a Kid—I Was Wrong

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