By Kristin van Ogtrop
Updated January 22, 2015
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"Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom" by Kristin Von Ogtrop
Credit: Courtesy of Little, Brown and Company

As some of you know—and as my whole family knows but would like to forget, since it was a semi-obsession all of last year—I’ve written a book that’s coming out on April 1. If you’re a faithful reader of this blog, you might like my book, as they both feature the same crazy main character.

I sort of look at this book as group therapy, because so many of us have the same issues (I hate my hair five mornings out of seven; my kids won’t walk the dog without being asked 10 times; I just want to eat cake all day long but women’s magazines keep telling me I need a balanced diet). And, you know, when faced with these issues (especially the cake problem), we can choose to laugh, or to cry. I personally choose to laugh, because it requires fewer tissues and no mascara reapplication.

The book is called Just Let Me Lie Down, and the subtitle is “Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom.” It’s structured like a dictionary, with 26 chapters, and it’s meant to make you (and me) laugh. Some of the “definitions” in the book are short, and some are longer and tell a story from my life. Some are terms I make up (or have stolen from more clever friends), and some are repurposed from other walks of life. For example, from the N chapter:

No Child Left Behind: The reminder running through the head of nearly every working mother after just one brush with disaster.

All mothers have a story: my friend Janice left her newborn in his car seat in the front hall while the rest of the family took off for Boston. (Luckily, they made it only down the block.) My neighbor Ann locked her toddler in the car and had to explain to a two-year-old how to work the automatic lock. And then there was the time I left my son at church.

And then I go on to tell the story about leaving Middle at church after Baby’s christening. It was far from my finest hour as a mother, but let’s just say it was a long morning and my sister had lost her wallet on the Long Island Expressway and all the relatives were in town and I was, naturally, quite sleep deprived.

Although obviously I’d love for scores of people to read my book, what I really want is for women to feel like we’re all in this together. And so, in that spirit, I want to hear your stories. Fess up! Have you ever had a No Child Left Behind moment? (And, no, we don’t mean education reform!)