What the Perfect Morning Looks Like, According to Pinterest
Here's what the a.m. hours would look like if we all lived by Pinterest's rules.
Crocheted egg in pan
Wake up under the Broken Herringbone pattern quilt you hand-sewed (Broken Herringbone Pattern Quilt PDF!) and cheerfully hop out of bed and into the ankle boot slippers you made out of dryer lint (Simple Felted Dryer-Lint Slipper Tutorial).
Get started on one of nine Breakfast Bowls to Jump-Start Your Morning! Almond butter! Eggs! Pecans! Out of quinoa? Substitute buckwheat! No buckwheat? Toss in some millet! No millet? Get it together—who among us doesn't have millet? Hahahahaha, that was a great joke, the “no millet” thing. Obviously, you will occasionally run out of millet because your kids literally can't stop eating it, and in that case you can (obviously) substitute eggshells or crumbled pieces of barnwood. If one of them isn't into the breakfast bowls, you can whip up pancake muffins with raspberry syrup, and if you can't do that, what are you doing raising children?
At this point, someone may need something from you emotionally. Just try to stall?
Pack healthy/adorable homemade lunch bags (20-Minute Insulated Lunch Tote Tutorial) while keeping children entertained (How to Juggle Uncracked Walnuts Tutorial).
Someone is definitely crying in the living room.
Walk past the live-edge red maple dining table (Video: Staining Unfinished Furniture, Part 39) and your gallery wall of professionally matted photocopies of your children's hands.
Crying is coming from your 11-year-old daughter, who is sitting in the wing chair you upholstered with your great-grandmother's floral bathrobe (DIY No-Sew Wingback Chair Reupholster). Why is she crying? Would she like a periodic table of the elements temporary tattoo? Potassium? Carbon??
Daughter looks up at you teary-eyed, still shaking. Please, please, how can you help? Throw your arms around her without even asking what's wrong (Throwing Your Arms Around Her Even Though You're Not Sure Why She's Sad Tutorial). Her eyes are swollen and pink. Seeing her this way is breaking your heart because you can't do anything (Who Made You Feel Like This? Tell Me and I Will Crush Them PDF).
Think back to your daughter as a laughing infant (Adorable First-Birthday Decor Ideas). Recall the bubbly toddler whose problems were things like “getting splinters” (Video: How To Power-Wash A Deck).
Through her sobs, you glean that the problem has something to do with girls at school (Managing Anger: 3 Easy Steps to Not Giving Those Girls a Piece of Your Mind). But there is nothing you can do, really. It is not something you can fix.
Shout to the other children to go wait for the bus.
Walk quickly upstairs and return, wrapping your daughter in the Broken Herringbone pattern quilt. You hold her tightly and begin to cry as well, ruining the effect of Simple Eyeliner Tutorial. You smell her clean hair on your shoulder (No-Frills Apple Cider Vinegar Hair Rinse). Her breathing calms. She sighs and lifts her head to smile at you. You are so lucky to have this moment with your amazing daughter. The two of you have so many wonderful things to learn.