7 Things You Should Never Tell a Friend Over Text
Give your thumbs a rest and connect face-to-face (or least over the phone) for these important messages.
Text messaging has made communicating a lot easier—but that doesn’t mean every conversation should be typed. If you have something important to say, it’s best to flex those vocal cords and say it out loud.
Text messages were made for relaying quick bits of information. Major revelations are meant to be whispered in hushed conversations over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. If what you’re about to type could function as a plotline on a soap opera (“I’m having a secret romance with my kick-boxing trainer!”), put down that phone and say it in person.
Sure it’s easier—on you—to send a quick note telling your friend you won’t be attending her 40th birthday party or you’re backing out of a long-planned girls trip to Hawaii. But "easy" now makes it that much harder later when you’re face to face. So unless you plan on ducking your pal for the rest of the year, suck it up and tell her in person.
Nothing is worse than getting sucked into a long, one-sided, text exchange as your bestie runs down the play-by-play of her fight with her office rival. If the story you’re typing is keeping those text bubbles on and poppin’, for heaven’s sake, save it for a phone call or a catch-up lunch! Nobody wants to read your novel.
If a mutual friend is in the hospital or you heard that your friend lost her job, don’t just send a quick note with a sad emoji. Yes, you can send a quick text initially—but only to ask her to call you as soon possible to discuss the news.
Tone and intention are difficult to get across—and interpret—in a text. A small blow-up can easily spiral into a major breakup with just a few side eye and clapping hands emojis. If you’re about to hit Send on a message that starts with “And another thing...” stop, take a breath, and wait until you’re ready to address the problem IRL.
While you may have intended that gossipy text for your friend’s eyes only, there’s no way to know who else might have access to her phone. Texts can always be copied and pasted or forwarded. And if you’d be truly mortified if someone read your tidbit, you probably should think twice about saying it at all—by text or in person.