How to Stay Friends Even After One of You Has Kids
When one friend has a baby and the other doesn’t, it can suddenly seem like you live in two different worlds.
You and your pal have shared so many life-changing experiences—you survived the boss from hell together, commiserated over dating mishaps, or have a history so deep, you can’t even remember a time you weren’t friends. But now one of you has a baby, and everything has changed. Your schedules may be completely out of sync, one of you is spending her former “going out” budget on diapers and day care, and it’s impossible to talk about your shared love of rom-coms when the only movie one of you has seen this year is Pooh’s Grand Adventure, 142 times.
Not every friendship is going to survive the seismic life change of having children, but the friendships that mean the most to you are worth working at, no matter how difficult it can be at times, says Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness.“We go through a lot of different life stages and we don’t have to go through them at the exact same time as our friends to remain close,” says Nelson. “Motherhood is one of the biggest transitions you’ll make, and it’s inevitable that there’s going to be some ebb and flow in your friendships, but the goal is to transition a few close friends to being a part of your new normal.”
Here, some steps moms and their child-free friends can take to keep their bond strong.