You may share a bed, but do you know the answer to these questions? If not, make time to talk about them tonight.
We all want to be close with our partners, to share our deepest secrets, our hopes, our fears. But when it comes to the bedroom, nerves can get in the way of having an honest discussion about your sexual likes and dislikes. Even with a long-term partner whom you love and trust, these conversations can be a little, well, awkward. What will they think of you? Will they take your desires as a criticism of your most intimate moments up until this point?
But the reward is worth the risk as a fulfilling sex life has umpteen benefits for your relationship, your health, and your happiness. Just ratchet down the awkwardness by actually scheduling a talk about it, says Ohio-based sex and relationship therapist Randi Levinson, CSE, CSC. “Make a date of it, so it’s not brought up out of the blue while someone’s cooking dinner or washing dishes,” she suggests. “Set an actual intention of opening up to each other, and go into the conversation saying, ‘I’m going to do my best to be non-judgmental, open-minded, and curious about you.’” Once that time is set (and, perhaps, the wine is poured), here are a few questions to help you along.