You don’t have to be 100 percent transparent to have a happy marriage.

By Marisa Cohen
September 13, 2017

Deep down, you’ve probably got a few secrets you’ve never told anyone—including the person you’ve sworn to be true to for the rest of your life. But that’s okay! Everyone is entitled to keep a private little vault inside their brain where certain memories, fantasies, and feelings can live, without being shared with their partner, says Randi Gunther, PhD, a marriage counselor in Southern California and author of Heroic Love.

She cautions, however, that it’s crucial not to keep any secrets that could harm your relationship if they were to come out. “There is privacy and then there is secrecy,” she says. “You shouldn’t do anything away from your partner that he or she would be hurt by if were they to know.” Here are five things you can stay mum about:

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