There have been times in my life when my gut has screamed, He is not for you! and my head or my will has ignored that and said, Nope! I’m gonna do it! Deep down, we know when we’re seduced by the package but the substance we’re looking for is not there. I find that I get an honest answer when I do a gut check, the way I might ask myself, What do I feel like eating today? Partly it’s noticing whether this person brings out the best in you. I’ve dated people who made me want to be kind, generous, patient, and sweet. And I’ve dated others with whom I ended up gossiping for three hours about people we both knew. The latter can feel naughty and exciting, but ultimately it’s toxic. It’s also a sign that you probably don’t have much in common.
—Halley Feiffer appeared most recently on Broadway in The Front Page. Her own plays have been produced by Atlantic Theater Company and MCC Theater, among others. She lives in New York City.