How many do you know the answer to?

By Kaitlin Menza
May 01, 2017

Have you ever heard a couple fighting over something major? You know, the kind of fight that leaves you wondering how they possibly could have not addressed that topic—when to have kids, how to deal with in-laws, etc.—before they got married? No one wants to be that couple, but it can be difficult to anticipate the arguments you might have with a partner over the next three months, let alone the next 30-plus years.

Houston-based relationship therapist Emily deAyala tries to help her clients to ask each other incredibly specific questions before they walk down the aisle. “As much as I can, I’ll throw some curve balls at them. What we want to do in premarital counseling is create a little of that anxiety, like, ‘Whoa, wait. I haven’t thought of that,’” she says, “so then we can help them work through that.” The following questions go one step further than kids, work, and money, digging right into the nitty-gritty of building a life together. Take a look at the list—and try answering them sooner rather than later.

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