Person Watching a Child: It’s so great to get to finally catch up! So talk to me about the stuff with Alex. Are you two still together?
Friend with Relationship Issues: [Takes deep breath] It’s been rough. The other day, he—
PWC: PUT THOSE BACK ON THE SHELF RIGHT NOW. NOW. ARE YOU LISTENING? IF YOU’RE LISTENING TO ME, LOOK AT MY EYES. AT MY EYES. BACK ON THE SHELF. LOOK AT ME. MY EYES. BACK ON THE SHELF. [To FRI] I’m so sorry. Bennett has this thing where he keeps biting the erasers off pencils. So—Alex?
FRI: So, um, Alex and I are—we feel like we’re moving in different directions. And two nights ago, he didn’t come home until 2 a.m., and he’s obviously sort of drunk and immediately starts sobbing the words—
PWC: DO NOT PUT KINETIC SAND IN YOUR MOUTH!