Is The Emoji Movie the Worst Kid Flick Ever?
Here are nine other movies parents have suffered through for the sake of their children.
Boy, did critics hate The Emoji Movie. The animated flick about a Meh emoji who lives in a phone got almost universally horrendous reviews (including an unprecedented 7 percent positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes), yet it still managed to rake in $25.7 million over the weekend, making it the second most successful movie in America, next to the Oscar contender Dunkirk.
Why? Because children don’t give a hoot about reviews. Also, children love emojis, which are all over their notebooks, pajamas, leggings, and toys, so when those commercials started running with the candy-colored faces, boys and girls begged their parents to take them. And rather than explain that the New York Times called the movie “nakedly idiotic,” millions of parents gave in, bought the popcorn, and hoped for the best.
One thing is for sure, though: The Emoji Movie is definitely not the first—and certainly not the last—terrible movie parents have sat through out of love for their children. Here, our Hall of Fame...
Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
“This movie was so unwatchable, I just pulled out my phone and started playing Scrabble so I wouldn’t have to look at the screen,” says one parent from New York City. “I was literally getting nauseous from all the herky-jerky camera moves and idiotic dialogue.”
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
“We took our kids to see this movie, and all four of us fell asleep!” says a mom of two from Toronto. “There was nothing in it to keep our attention, not even the bright colors of a typical kids movie—it was just dull to look at and dull to watch. Maybe if they had added a song or two it would have kept us awake, but nope, it was just confusing pirate fights.”
“Guinea pigs with the voices of celebrities. Need I say more?” says a mom of twins in New York.
There have been several Smurfs movies, and each one has been more excruciating than the last, says a dad of one in New York State. “I couldn’t even watch the commercial—they played ‘Baby Got Back’ and had a female Smurf wiggling her butt. How is that appropriate for children?”
Though the Mark Wahlberg movie is rated PG-13, a mom of three from Long Island took her kids so they could all get out of the house one winter break. “It was so inappropriate! At one point my husband panicked and ran our 6-year-old out of the theater. I shrunk down in my seat and covered my 8-year-old son's eyes. This was fairly traumatic for us as parents, though the kids thought it was hilarious!”
The Chipmunks Movie
Nominated by several parents who all agreed it’s impossible to sit through any movie featuring the high-pitched warbling of Alvin and the gang without getting a massive headache.
“The ads for Snow Dogs showed three Siberian huskies laughing and talking on beach chairs, so my kids were really excited to see it,” explains a dad of two in Baltimore. “We went to the movie, and guess what? There were no talking dogs. It was the worst!”
“We all liked Despicable Me, so we thought Minions would be fun,” says a mom of three in Florida. “But I got really annoyed after a while that you couldn’t understand a thing those creatures were saying.”
The Angry Birds Movie
Emojis were not the first icons from your phone to be turned into a movie. A dad of two in California sums up the cynical 2016 movie like this: “Those angry birds just made me really angry.”