Group of women making a toast
Credit: Jamie Grill/Getty Images

The minute you say the word “wedding,” most people see dollar signs. “Why not think of it as a reunion instead of a wedding?” Cotner advises. “Weddings tend to focus on surface things like flowers, attire and centerpieces. Reunions tend to be about fun.”

When you approach it as a gathering of your favorite people, it burns off the anxiety and refocuses the focus on what really matters—family, friends and a day worth remembering. “You’re planning a one-day celebration,” she says. “Yes, it’s the official start of your life together, but it’s not your one chance to have a party.”