I Want a Prenup. How Do I Ask for One Without Offending My Partner?

On this episode of the Money Confidential podcast, host Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez turns to Beatrice Leong, a divorce and family law attorney, to discuss what all couples considering marriage need to know about getting a prenup.

Wedding cake between two ball point pens
Photo: Olivia Barr

Every Monday on the Money Confidential podcast, host Stefanie O'Connell Rodriguez, a nationally recognized money expert, delves into your (confidential) money problems and delivers smart, practical, and completely doable solutions that will help you work toward your ultimate financial goals. This is the place to come for real talk about money—and real solutions that actually work.

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On This Episode

The topic of love and money can be sensitive, but financial conversations are an important part of any serious relationship—especially when marriage is on the table. In this episode, host Stefanie O'Connell Rodriguez sits down with Beatrice Leong, a divorce and family law attorney, to discuss what Julia, and all couples considering marriage, need to know about getting a prenup.

Meet Our Caller

"Julia," a 32-year-old HR professional, lost half her savings when her first marriage ended. Now that she's thinking about getting remarried, she wants to protect herself financially and is considering asking her partner for a prenuptial agreement.


"When my ex-husband left, he immediately took half of our savings, put it in a different bank account; I didn't even know about it. I just don't want to be put in a situation again where I lose money."


Meet Host Stefanie O'Connell Rodriguez

Money confidential podcast - host, Stefanie O'Connell Rodriguez
Caroline White Photography

Stefanie is a nationally recognized personal finance expert ready to talk work, worth, and money with unapologetically ambitious women. Her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Oprah Magazine, and Stefanie has appeared on ABC World News, CBSN, Fox & Friends, Fox Business, Bloomberg, The Dr. Oz Show, The Doctors, and more to share her smart, practical solutions to any money problem.

Meet Our Expert, Beatrice Leong

Beatrice Leong
Beatrice Leong

Beatrice Leong is a divorce and family law attorney and founder of the Law Office of Beatrice Leong. As a divorcee herself, she understands and empathizes with clients who are working through the emotional process of divorce and family conflict. She also serves as the vice president of programs and operations of the Asian American Bar Association of New York, an association with over 1,600 active members.

Advice From the Episode

Beatrice Leong

"We think of marriage as love. But traditionally, a thousand years ago it was all about money. And I think maybe we're coming to a full circle back to: Marriage is about money."

—Beatrice Leong
  • Think of prenups as a house insurance policy. "When you buy a house, when you rent an apartment, they always say, 'Please purchase a policy,' Right? Just in case your house burns down." —Beatrice
  • "If you have a property, I would say automatically do a prenup. If you have any retirement accounts and stocks or anything of value that could be commingled in a marriage, I would say, definitely do a prenup." —Beatrice
  • When setting up a prenup, make sure you go with a lawyer who specializes in divorce and family law. —Beatrice
  • When drafting a prenup, make sure to also include a section about debt, to determine what will and won't be shared. —Beatrice

Stefanie O'Connell Rodriguez

"Hiring an experienced family law attorney to talk through, draft, and execute a prenuptial agreement should ideally be done before any other wedding plans are made to remove any time or other pressures that could call the validity of the prenup into question."

—Stefanie O'Connell Rodriguez
  • "It's important that we know and understand those legal and financial implications before we enter into [marriage], much like we should understand the impact of any other major contract or partnership that has the potential to affect our own well-being." —Stefanie

Links and Resources

Download the transcript for this episode.

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