An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
It’s just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits are gone.
Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.
Junk, someone once said, is what you throw away two weeks before you need it.
Letty Cottin Pogrebin
No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap.
A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.
Franklin P. Jones
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
I don't consider myself bald; I'm just taller than my hair.
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.