Funny Valentine’s Day Gifts

She’s an adult and she can enjoy a big glass of wine at the end of a long day if she wants to. There’s no judgment here. For the woman who looks forward to a bit of wine at the end of the day, give her with the ultimate oversized glass—because having to refill your glass simply takes too much time and effort. This funny gift can hold a full bottle of wine (although we don’t recommend anyone undertaking this endeavor solo). Use it as a photo op and then share with others—or don’t fill it up all the way for a single-serve version.

To Buy: $10; shopspring.com.

Sure, anyone can buy those themed generic valentines at the store, but who needs that when these cheeky notecards exist? All the classic food pairings you can think of—from peanut butter and jelly or eggs and bacon to salt and pepper—are featured in this set of 10 notecards and envelopes. There’s even a 3D element to these hilarious greetings: they open with a pop-up accent. They can also be used as desk décor post-February 14th, too. Your friend can share these with their significant other, friends, and family—all they needs to do is personalize the message inside.

To Buy: $15; chroniclebooks.com.

The weekly takeout date night might be a beloved tradition, but it’s no secret that it’s not the healthiest habit. For those who are trying to eat fewer greasy dishes (think delivery lo mein or large, cheesy pizzas), this takeout box-inspired porcelain serving bowl puts a new, healthier spin on the ritual. Serve everything from homemade noodles or General Tso’s chicken in the glossy box. Or, use it to serve up candies, chips, or pretzels the next time guests come over. It may look delicate, but it’s actually quite durable—it’s dishwasher-, microwave-, and oven-safe.

To Buy: $8; cb2.com.

Nobody wants to have bad breath going into a date or a networking event. These tiny tins, which easily fit in her purse or glove compartment, will ensure her breath is as fresh as can be. The set features three tins with different clever sayings and designs, including the time honored “Keep Calm” motto that is just about everywhere. She’ll be offering mints to everyone she meets. When the breath fresheners are long gone, the tins can be used to hold small trinkets (think sewing tools, bobby pins and other hair accessories, or loose change).

To Buy: $6; worldmarket.com.

If her idea of a Valentine’s Day treat is curling up in bed while being served a glass of her favorite red or white blend, then these are the socks she’ll never want to take off. The funny phrase (“if you can read this” on one, “please bring me wine” on the other) is featured on the soles, so she just needs to point her toes to the sky to put in her beverage request. We can’t guarantee that this request will be fulfilled after February 14th—but it’s still worth trying just about any day of the year.

To Buy: $14; winealittlegifts.etsy.com.

It’s well known that coloring books can be a calm, stress-relieving escape when someone is feeling overwhelmed or anxious about a never-ending to-do list, a tough commute, or just the general annoyances of everyday life. This coloring book, with whimsical drawings of mermaids, can be her nighttime ritual when she’s looking to decompress after a long day at work or running errands. For a well-rounded gift, package the book with a set of coloring pencils, and she will be all set. You can thank us later when she seems to be a lot more zen.

To Buy: $8; asos.com.

There are no naked people in this hilarious book—just attractive men saying and doing all the things you’ve always wished they would in real life. There’s the man vacuuming the living room all by himself on the front cover and the photo of one guy saying “Ooh, look, the NFL playoffs are today. I bet we’ll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair.” It’s the ultimate fantasy book for women everywhere—who wouldn’t want to see a good-looking guy do mundane chores around the house? We can just imagine her going through the book with her friends during the next girls’ night for a good laugh.

To Buy: $10; uncommongoods.com.

Even the most confident and poised people need a self-esteem boost every now and then. This compact won’t ever make you feel self-conscious about your skin issues or blemishes, because it opens up to an uplifting phrase inscribed in the mirror: “You’re Perfect.” The acrylic case is small enough to stash in your glove compartment, pocket, or even a tiny clutch. Plus, it’s a useful tool for your commute, in case you need to touch-up before stepping in to the office. At just $10, it makes a great Galentine’s Day party favor for each one of your girlfriends.

To Buy: $10; shop.people.com.

Don’t forget the kids this Valentine’s Day. It’s not a day reserved just for romantic love, of course. Reward your favorite tot with a golden sippy cup that’s shaped like a trophy. The cup features the words “First in Thirst” and “Most Valuable Baby,” so everyone knows who the real champ is. (Even if he doesn’t always finish his milk!) This may look way different than your average sippy cup, but it still has the same utility of an everyday one—the handles make it easy to hold and it comes with a removable spill-proof lid. Plus, it’s BPA-free, too.

To Buy: $11; bedbathandbeyond.com.

Who says a pacifier has to be dull and boring? Just think of all the hilarious photo opportunities you’ll have once you give your baby a binky that’s reminiscent of those toy lips found at party or novelty stores. You won’t need to tell her to pucker up for a photo to share with grandma or grandpa. Or, if you don’t have a little one in your own home, this is a unique and funny gift idea for your nephew or your friends’ kids—because quiet time doesn’t have to be quite so serious.

To Buy: $10; toysrus.com.

If she considers herself a burger connoisseur, she can display her love proudly with this coin purse and card case set (ketchup, mustard, and a side of fries not included). The pouches are compact enough, but will fit all the essentials so it’s easy for her to take them to go. Though burger prices may have skyrocketed since the 1960s, there’s enough room in this coin purse to buy an $11 artisanal burger—all in change (though we can’t guarantee the server wouldn’t be annoyed). Stick a gift card to her favorite burger joint in the card case to complete the gift.

To Buy: $28; shop.people.com.

For the avid traveler, skip the big toiletry bag in a carry-on and opt for this tiny pouch that holds all the essentials. Tucked inside this little kit (it’s smaller than the palm of a hand) are 18 necessities to help anyone power through a flight—whether it’s just a puddle-jump, or a long 12-hour journey. During the flight, the gift recipient can take advantage of the ear buds and eye mask to get some much-needed sleep, plus use the hand lotion to deal with the dry air in the cabin. After the flight, they can use the breath drops, deodorant towelettes, and wrinkle remover to straighten up.

To Buy: $26; urbanoutfitters.com.

If he collects bobbleheads of his favorite athletes, he’ll get a kick out of getting one in his likeness. Each one is handmade from polymer clay and is fully customizable. Send pictures of your guy (both front-view and side-view)—the more detailed, the more the bobblehead will end up looking exactly like him. Next, you’ll personalize his hair, eyes, and skin tone. The production process takes about 14 to 21 weekdays, since it usually involves a few rounds of approvals, so, to avoid an IOU, you’ll want to order well in advance of the holiday.

To Buy: Starts at $80; reveltime.etsy.com.

This decorative piece is the obvious choice for the friend or significant other who prefers to speak in emoji rather than in English. If her home or office desk is looking a little drab, she can add a pop of bright color with the acrylic piece. Or, it can be propped up on a bookshelf or nightstand as a cheerful reminder to take a moment to smile and enjoy the day. Wherever she places this piece, she’ll be reminded of your thoughtfulness and love (either romantic or platonic). The “tongue out” emoji is also available, in case your relationship is more playful.

To Buy: $15; francescas.com.

If you and your significant first bonded over your mutual love of cheesy pizza, then this snow globe will say it all. Instead of the usual snow globe subjects—a Christmas tree, a snowflake, a cozy house, or a city skyline—this one features a heart-shaped slice of pepperoni (and even those tiny slivers of meat are shaped like hearts, too). This funny, but sweet gift will leave the recipient smiling. It can be placed proudly in your shared home, next to any other photos of the two of you, or on a mundane office desk. And, since it’s not holiday-themed, it can be displayed all year long.

To Buy: $16; urbanoutfitters.com.

If you live with someone who’s always hogging the bed, let this set of pillowcases lay down some ground rules for you. Directional arrows relegate him to his side and—bonus!—you end up with a little extra room. These cutesy custom pillowcases are made to order right here in the United States and feature a shrink-proof blend of cotton and polyester. And the eco-friendly printing process (which permanently dyes the image into the fabric) leaves these cases feeling sumptuous. Bonus: The wrinkle-resistant crisp white fabric ensures they won’t sit on your ironing board for a week after they’ve been washed.

To Buy: $26; thecozybear.etsy.com.

Sure, she probably already knows what a catch you are. But there’s no harm in reminding her… over and over… and over again. In a hilarious effort to make sure everyone feels included, this sassy mug even comes with a choice of a “Righty” or “Lefty” handle preference. If you aren’t able to celebrate together this Valentine’s Day, the seller offers direct shipping to your love—wherever she may be. Though the mug is microwave-safe (for when your in a rush to get that caffeine flowing), hand washing is recommended. The 10-ounce mug comes already packaged in a pretty gift box with a blank gift tag, too.

To Buy: $22; avonniestudio.etsy.co.

Looking for a witty and customizable gift for your gal this Valentine’s Day? This translucent blush iPhone case will certainly fit the bill. The hard plastic case comes with four sheets of illustrations, words, and secret code stickers (which include lips, pizza, candy, and—our personal favorite—a pop art message to your girlfriends, “fries before guys”). Since the stickers are removable, you can swap them out—or leave them be—as often as you’d like. Extra sticker books are sold separately, should your new sticker-swapping hobby turn into a full-blown addiction. Available for iPhone 6/6S and iPhone 6/6S Plus.

To Buy: $26; amazon.com.

A funny gift for the friend who prefers to spend her Friday nights curled up on the couch with her cat to a wild evening out on the town. With eight colors to choose from, you may just want to buy one for yourself as well, because—let’s face it—we’ve all experienced “JOMO” (that’s “Joy of Missing Out”) from time to time. Since all items are custom made to order, each of these affordable tank tops are final sale only. You can also choose from four design colors (the font color as it appears on the front of the tank) for a truly customizable look.

To Buy: $20; hellohandpressed.etsy.co.

Save yourself a trip to the greeting card store this year. Each card in this 12-page book features one of six supremely sweet compliments (“You are better than unicorns and sparkles combined,” and “You are gold, baby. Solid gold.”). Since they all contain perforated edges, you can rip them out and send them to someone special. Due to the book’s compact size (approximately 4 inches by 6 inches), you can even toss it into your handbag or tote to whip out a custom note on the fly whenever the mood should strike. Each set is bound in neon pink, so you’ll be able to spot it quickly in the bottom of your bag.

To Buy: $10, papersource.com.

Forget the calorie-laden (and sometimes stale) cookies that are presented post meal. This miniscule book offers up a vast array of fortunes (perforated edges around each one mean any particularly poignant thoughts can be ripped out and saved) for each day of the year. Ideal for sharing or pinning onto your inspiration board as a daily reminder, this book contains entertaining and wise fortunes such as “Dance like no one is watching, because probably no one is.” A word of warning: The PG-13 nature of some fortunes means this gift is best suited for a romantic partner.

To Buy: $10; knockknockstuff.com.

Yes, it is possible to mold your perfect man with this cute silicone ice tray. The retro packaging is sure to be appreciated by the design-loving partner in your life, while the descriptions of a perfect man inscribed on the front of the box will be admired by, well, just about anyone. If you’re hosting a Galentine’s Day party this year, welcome each guest with a drink containing one of these frozen muscle men floating inside. The box promises thess particular studs are frozen in time and never disappoint. If you are so inspired, a perfect man chocolate mold is also available for a comical dessert.

To Buy: $17.50; amazon.com.

Convey a truly heartfelt message with this adorable tea towel. It’s sure to look just as terrific adorning your stove or dishwasher handle as it is slung over your shoulder as you Iron Chef your way through your next weeknight meal. It also features a string loop for easy hanging if you’d prefer a hook instead. The 100-percent cotton towel, which has a bright red heart and a matching red scalloped trim, reads: “I Love Us.” It’s machine washable, so you can feel free to use it with reckless abandon—pasta sauce splatters are no match for you!

To Buy: 10; splendidbr.etsy.com.

This cute—and inexpensive—novelty item is the perfect add-on to a larger Valentine’s Day gift. The amusing product description suggests that you “Grow a Boyfriend that doesn’t fall asleep or play video games.” (Wouldn’t that be nice?) Once added to water, this “man” will grow up to six times his original size during the course of two to 72 hours. A Grow a Girlfriend version is available too, if you’d like to level the playing field. The good news: once they are removed from water they shrink, but can be enlarged again and again by re-submerging in water.

To Buy: $3.50; amazon.com.

What a convenient and adorable way to send your love off with a hand-packed lunch. These plastic zippered bags are the perfect size for storing a sandwich, snacks, or fruit. And, perhaps best of all, your sweetheart will get a mid-day reminder of your affection when they discover their lunch is encased in lipstick-print kiss bags. Each order includes 10 bags with pink kisses and 10 pouches with red smooches. To minimize waste and maximize enjoyment, you can even rinse them out and recycle them for the next day’s meal. The retro box is illustrated, too, so you won’t feel bad leaving it out on the counter after the morning rush.

To Buy: $6; amazon.com.

Keep your fun-loving man armed and well protected from rain, sleet, and even hail. The large black umbrella features a long, sturdy strap for easy carrying (not unlike the real thing). At the first sight of rain, a quick release button sends this sword into action as a shield from the elements. This patent-pending design comes with a nylon scabbard and is attached to an otherwise simple umbrella, for the guy who with a buttoned-up exterior and a goofy personality. A mini version of the samurai umbrella is also available—and is more suitable for warding off occasional sprinkles.

To Buy: $37.50; amazon.com.

Bright silicone identifiers in a rainbow of six colors will help your party guests keep track of their cocktails, whether a wine glass or a beer bottle. The quirky stickers can be used over and over again—despite being dishwasher safe! They can also be used as conversation starters at a dinner party or cocktail gathering. With sayings such as “I’m Totally Into____” and “I’m Giving Up____”, it couldn’t be easier to break the ice. A black pen is even included for your convenience. The set of 48 stickers work on glass, ceramic, or smooth plastic to ensure your drink won’t stray far again.

To Buy: $7; amazon.com.

With these romantic scratch-and-win lottery tickets, you won’t just be competing for a few dollars—you’ll be rewarding each other with an array of affectionate redeemable tokens. Tickets such as “Show Me The Love” and “Seven Minutes in Heaven” will likely recall the curious innocence of middle school party games (but just a word of warning—the publisher suggests a minimum age of 13). Each paperback book contains 100 tickets and is pocket-sized, making them easy to stow in a drawer when relaxing at home or tucked in a purse for a little entertainment during dinner out. You can even tuck one into each other’s bags in the morning for a cute mid-day surprise that’s redeemable after five o’clock.

To Buy: $10; barnesandnoble.com.