In person or by video call is best, says Petrow. It might help to practice a short script beforehand and ease in with a preface: “There’s something going on in my life that I need to talk to you about.” Even with this planning, “you might end up saying, ‘Hi, I have cancer’ and bursting into tears,” says Petrow. “No judgment. We’re all human, and you haven’t done this before.” If you’re too upset, ask a spouse or a sibling to share the news with those who need to know immediately, then follow up personally when you are ready. “If you want others to keep the news confidential, be sure to spell that out clearly,” says Petrow. That way, you won’t be outed with a heartfelt Facebook comment.