Unless your child is a MasterChef Junior, there’s no way he can understand, much less appreciate, what goes into hosting a 20-person dinner. The same holds for all the other “gifts” you bestow upon your children daily, like driving carpool and working to pay bills. “We can’t expect our kids to be grateful for their siblings or for things they didn’t ask for,” says the Reverend Kate Braestrup, a community minister and a law-enforcement chaplain in Maine. “We can’t force the feeling on our kids—or on anybody, really. We have the right to require certain behavior, but not feelings.” Her solution? Say grace. “It’s a ritual, and our bodies, not just our minds, respond to ritual.” Try these 17 words: We are thankful for the food and the hands that prepared it, for our family and friends.