When you’re presented with a decadent piece of cake, it’s hard not to devour immediately. That’s how quickly it felt like the relationship between Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift lasted. Jonas, now the lead singer of the pop band DNCE, released the song “Cake by the Ocean” so we know he’s a fan. For us, it takes the same amount of time to eat a slice as it did for Jonas to end the relationship: 27 seconds.
When they were paired up for the star-studded film, Valentine’s Day, it didn’t take long for art to imitate life. She may go “Back to December” from time to time, but with these two, it’s all about February. Lautner provided a fun, albeit unsurprising romance, much like a box of chocolates on V-Day.
Swift lyricized, “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?” in what was probably-but-certainly an ode to her relationship with one of Hollywood’s most notorious bad boys. He took her innocence, but that shouldn’t stop her from indulging an immature craving: the dirt cup. Messy? Yes. Full of worms? Of course. But it’s sure to take you back to the good ol’ days.
“It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well” are the lyrics to the song supposedly about Gyllenhaal. What better way to describe the actor than a rare ribeye steak? Classic, dependable. Honestly, we thought Jake was going to make the cut. Even though Swift and Gyllenhaal didn’t work out, we still think he’s worth every penny.
Swift and Bobby Kennedy’s grandson spent much of their time near his family home in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts. Their decadent summer romance didn’t last long, much like a classic New England lobster roll: rich and delicious and best enjoyed on the coast.
The relationship between Harry Styles and Taylor Swift was something of a spectacle. Many of the songs (allegedly) about Styles were accompanied by a handful of theatrical music videos. Cut to the brooding bad boy drama of “I Knew You Were Trouble” and a dirt-covered Swift in “Out of the Woods”. Two medium popcorns please! Extra butter.
Baby, this is what you came for: Disco fries (i.e. “Jersey Poutine”). Swift and the prolific DJ were pop-meets-EDM in human form. It’s no surprise that their food pairing would be all-American fried potato wedges doused in a cheesy, perhaps heart-palpitating sauce. Like chowing down on the ultimate post-club, late-night snack, the breakup was pretty messy.
What’s more dependable, filling and British than a heaping plate of bangers and mash? Perhaps the dashing Tom Hiddleston. Hiddleswift displayed their whirlwind romance with pride, similar to the Brits’ treatment of their traditional English breakfast. It takes 35 minutes to make your own version of the plate, providing a quick, yet wholesome display. Sound familiar?