The company is planning to create a low-crunch, less-messy version of the chip specifically for women. Seriously.

By Marisa Cohen
February 05, 2018
Sharon Pruitt/EyeEm/Getty Images

If you have ever gleefully licked the orange powder off your fingers after ferociously chomping down on a bag of Doritos (perhaps last night, while watching the Super Bowl?), then you will be as dumbfounded as we were upon hearing this news: Doritos is planning to create a low-crunch, less-messy version of the chip for women that will fit daintily in a lady’s purse.

Seriously.

Because, according to PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi, women just don’t like to make a crunchy mess like their neanderthal brothers and husbands do.

When Nooyi was interviewed on the Freakonomics radio show last week, this is what she had to say on the matter:

“When you eat out of a flex bag — one of our single-serve bags—especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom. Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.”

Well, clearly Nooyi has never experienced the thrill of ripping open a bag of chips and licking the last little bits of spicy, cheesy goodness from the inside of the foil. Come on, eating daintily is for cucumber sandwiches and petit-fours—no one who has already committed to diving into a bag of Doritos is worried about how refined and elegant they look! And let’s be honest, when you’re eating Doritos, you’re either at a college frat party or wearing sweats on your sofa cheering on the ballgame or binge-watching Friends.

But still, Doritos is going full-speed ahead with this plan, says Nooyi: “And yes, we are looking at it, and we’re getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon. For women, low-crunch, the full taste profile, not have so much of the flavor stick on the fingers, and how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse.”

We’re guessing this will go over as well as the notorious pink “Bic Pen for Her.” What do you think?

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