I Have a Frenemy Who Plays the Comparison Game Between Our Kids. How Do I Nip this in the Bud?
Comparison parents are the bedbugs of the playground: pesky and nearly impossible to exterminate. What you need to do, then, is put yourself in a zip-top bag. “Don’t engage with her nosiness at any level,” says Carlin. “Say, ‘Emily’s great, thanks.’ ” This person may be asking because she wants to be asked in return so she can put on her braggy pants. In that case, ask about her kid and then say, “That’s nice! We’re so happy for her,” says Post. She might also be asking because you’ve talked about a problem before: Maybe she found you in a vulnerable spot and you spilled about the milestones your son has missed. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep discussing it, says Post: “When she asks, tell her, ‘I feel a bit overwhelmed and don’t want to talk about it.’ This acknowledges that what was once open is now private.”