11 Money-Etiquette Issues, Solved

Collecting for Group Gifts

Problem: Friends or coworkers who need to reimburse you for a group gift keep saying, "Yeah, I'll get that to you," and never do. What should you do?

Solution: Send an e-mail reminding everyone that you're collecting and would appreciate it if they'd get their share to you by a specific date, suggests Susan Hackley, the managing director of the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School. "If people still haven't paid within a week, another pleasant e-mail―appreciatively noting the names of those who have paid―is perfectly appropriate," says Hackley. If only one or two people haven't chipped in yet, talk to them privately, says Spizman. "Ask if they sent it and by chance you didn't receive it―don't be accusatory. They really might have forgotten," she says. It's also possible that they're short of money. In that case, you could compromise and say you'd be willing to accept whatever they can manage. If this puts you in a bind, you might ask some other group members (without revealing intimate details) if they'd consider chipping in a few extra bucks, since the group ran short.