7 Out of Office Messages We Wish We Could Use

“I’m out of the office and I’m purposely ignoring your emails.”

It’s the end of summer, which means everyone is taking their last vacations and soaking up the long days before reality sets back in. When you leave the office, protocol dictates you set up an “out of office” message to let people know you’ll be away, and who to contact in your absence. While those professional messages certainly serve a purpose, we brainstormed a few alternatives for if you’re feeling really honest*.

*Note: We do not actually endorse you using any of these messages.

1

woman-desk-beach
Photo by Paul Bradbury/Getty Images

Hello,

I will be out of the office until September 6. Chances are, I will read your email but won’t respond, because I am enjoying my life on a beautiful sandy shore while you sit at your desk typing away like an office robot.

Best,
Me

2

To Whom It May Concern:

I will be out of the office until September 6 because I am on vacation, and I haven’t taken a vacation day all year and even when I do, I’m still forced to respond to all of your incessant emails. For this vacation, I am doing all but throwing my phone into the ocean so I am totally unreachable. I’m not even leaving you a person to contact. Best of luck.

Best,
Me

3

Hello,

I will be out of the office until September 6. I say I’ll respond to messages when I return, but what I’ll actually do is just batch delete them, claim I never received them, and thereby release myself from all responsibility until the fall. Have a great Monday!

Best,
Me



4

Hello,

I will be out of the office until September 6. I haven’t taken a vacation in two years because I am always overcome with anxiety that I won’t finish my work in time, that I’ll miss an important meeting, or that the office will all but burn down without me. Given that, even though this message is up you can probably still reach me. I’ll probably check my mail three times a day.

Best,
Me

5

Hello,

I will be out of the office until September 6. During this time, I will be mostly unreachable, unless I like you. If I like you, I will respond to your emails in a somewhat timely fashion. If you don’t hear from me until September, you can bet that you are pretty low on my priority list. Or that I simply don’t like you.

Best,
Me

6

Hello,

I will be out of the office until September 6. I’ve told my coworkers I’m going to be on vacation with little service, but in reality I’m just taking some time off and sitting in my apartment, watching Netflix. But don’t tell. If something really important happens, I’ll answer. But for now, I have 13 seconds until my next episode starts and I need to run to the bathroom before that happens.

Best,
Me



7

Hello,

I will be out of the office until September 6. In the meantime, please visit my Instagram for a few gorgeous shots of my picturesque views, outdoor activities, and expertly-crafted cocktails. I appreciate any “likes” you can spare, as my Instagram presence has truly never looked better.

Also, I’ll get to your emails later.

Best,
Me