How to Make a Good First Impression

Want to learn the secret to a great first encounter? Five pros share their most effective moves.

Stop Talking

A lot of folks have a habit of imparting endless information during a first encounter. I call it male-pattern lecturing, though it’s by no means exclusive to men. The listener smiles, nods politely, and asks questions, and so the male-pattern lecturer keeps…on…talking. The lecturer comes away from the experience thinking that it went really well. He felt so confident and interesting! But for the listener, it was a bust. She didn’t feel affirmed or appreciated. It’s natural, especially when you’re nervous, to focus on whether the conversation is going well for you. But make sure you’re also thinking of ways to make the other person feel good. Honestly, that can be as simple as asking about her day.

Ann Demarais, PH.D., is an executive coach and a coauthor of First Impressions ($15, amazon.com).