I recently met a woman at a party who was just lovely and warm and had the nicest smile imaginable. We immediately hit it off, and I hope we become friends. One thing about her that I noticed (but did not hold against her) was that she has that (dare I say, mostly female) habit of apologizing too much. I’m sure you know people who apologize too much; we all do. Who apologize as a way of being extra-nice, I suppose. I recognize this type because I used to be an over-apologizer.
This afternoon I was contemplating my huge e-mail in-box and remembered that I got an e-mail a few weeks back from a student at the university that I’d attended. I don’t know her, and she is looking for career advice. Ordinarily I would begin my reply to such an e-mail with an apology (“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply...”) but I decided that I’m not going to start the e-mail with an apology; maybe I am just cranky this afternoon, but perhaps she should just be glad that I, a total stranger, am replying at all.
Which brings me to this post.
Advice I Wish I Could Give My Younger Self
- Stop apologizing so much.
- Appreciate how you look right now. It’s a lot better than you think.
- Understand that sometimes boys are just clueless. They are not being intentionally clueless to hurt your feelings.
- One cupcake/donut/piece of candy is not really that important.
- If you have to ask yourself whether you should have one more drink, the answer is probably no.
- If you think everybody is looking at you, you’re wrong.
- No matter how much you love your parents, they probably love you more.
- Sometimes doing the right thing is embarrassing and not cool. Get over that.
- When you are arguing with someone, yelling rarely accomplishes anything.
- Many of the smartest people are the best listeners.
- Waterproof mascara is not worth the hassle of taking it off.
- Just because you hated a book at age 20 does not mean you will hate it at age 40.
- Arguing with your boyfriend after 10 p.m. is just completely counterproductive.
- There is no substitute for a cake made from scratch.
- Be careful when stating your opinion because it might change tomorrow.