Break Out of Your Relationship Ruts

A Romantic Rut

How to recognize it: Date night? What's that? That thing you replaced with "Your turn to bathe the kids" night or "I'm working late again" night.

How to bust out of it: You know how to schedule, so don't forget to make an appointment with your partner. Pick nights or weekends you both agree on, and take turns planning outings. Simply tell the other person what clothes to have ready. (And have fun with it. Going skiing? Have him throw in his swimsuit and goggles to keep him on his toes.) It doesn't have to be a grand plan: Start a book club―with just the two of you as members. Or have a romantic candlelit dinner with pizza, beer, and ice cream instead of fancy food. What shouldn't you do? Hound him about how unromantic he is. It will probably backfire. If you're feeling underromanced, set an example by doing the things for him that you wish he would do for you, like buying him flowers, advises psychologist Steve Brody: "If you wish he would kiss you passionately when he walks in the door, go up and plant one on him―he'll respond!"