The Births: February 2009

Kristen: We had been at our house on Long Island when I went into labor, but we were having our babies in New York City, so we hightailed it to NYU Langone Medical Center. We were both planning to give birth there, with the same doctor. Sarah drove. She has major anxiety about tunnels. She asked me to please not make fun of her at that moment, so I didn’t.
 
 Sarah: My baby, which had been transverse, flipped in the middle of the Midtown Tunnel. It felt like an alien was moving in my stomach. But when I got to the hospital, I forgot I was pregnant, because Kristen’s birth was so exciting. Honestly, the thing that caught me off guard was that during every birthing class, I had somehow pictured only myself giving birth. It was really upsetting to see Kristen in pain for so long.
 
 Kristen: I had an 18-hour labor, with an epidural, which ended with a normal vaginal birth. We named the baby Thomas Tupper Ellis-Henderson. The homecoming was the least smooth part. We had four grandparents and my sister at the hospital almost the whole time. And then somehow we didn’t have a single person on hand when we were leaving.
 
 Sarah: I was 9 1/2 months pregnant, Kristen couldn’t move, and we had five bags of our stuff and gifts, plus Thomas. Oh, and it was snowing. As we walked outside, my baby dropped down. Kristen started crying. We just felt overwhelmed and agreed we would plan this better with the next baby.
 
 Jeanne Henderson: Because their due dates were so close, we had all assumed they would give birth a few days apart. Three weeks after Thomas was born, Sarah was still pregnant.
 
 Kristen: Once Thomas arrived and we came home, that was the first moment we said, “Hey, how are we going to do this?”
 
 Sarah: Thirteen days after my due date, on the day I was going to be induced, I started going into labor.
 
 Kristen: I had this weird reaction. I wasn’t sure I could see another labor again so soon. It was hard to lie to Sarah about how hard it was and how much it hurt. There was a moment when she was ready to quit pushing, and it was hard for me not to say, “Yeah, you should quit. It’s not going to get any better.” But I didn’t say that. I think I did all right.
 
 Sarah: She did great.
 
 Kristen: After Sarah went through 12 hours of labor and had an epidural, our daughter, Kate Spencer Ellis-Henderson, was here. We had help getting home this time, and once we were there, the entire family came over, with little-boy and little-girl flowers, and we sang “Happy Birthday” and had cakes.
 
 Sarah: When the babies are next to each other, they almost hold hands. They always seem to be touching. It’s just the sweetest thing. You’re never prepared for how amazing it’s going to be.
 
 

Right Now…and the Next 18 Years

Sarah: It often takes two people to attend to one baby. If she’s with Thomas, I’m preparing his bottles. I think the biggest difference between this and when Georgia was born is that with one child you can trade off. As parents of multiples know, with two you’re always on duty. If Kristen is showering and the second one wakes up hungry, she’s got to move a little faster. It’s just different.
 
 Kristen: Everyone says sleep when the babies sleep, but the babies don’t necessarily sleep at the same time. And while Kate was feeding every two hours, Thomas was refusing breast milk. Now he’s breast-feeding fine, but it took us a while to get into a rhythm.
 
 Sarah: People always want to know what we plan to tell the kids about their donor. We’ll tell them the truth, which is that somebody helped us to create them because we wanted them so badly. And we made sure that their donor would be contactable when Thomas and Kate are 18. So if they want to, they can reach out to this person who was very helpful to their mommies.
 
 Kristen: We will always emphasize what our kids have, versus what they don’t. And they have such an abundance of love: two mommies, and aunts and uncles and grandparents on both sides. And we’re really excited to have gotten through the pregnancies and the births―having it all go pretty much the way we hoped. Sarah and I are on this team now, united for the benefit of Thomas and Kate, dedicated to bringing them through this life.
 
See the story in photographs in Two Women, Two Babies, One Family: A Gallery.