Dealing With Your In-Laws

If Your Husband's Father Upsets Him...

Support your husband. It may hurt you to see your father-in-law repeatedly say upsetting things to your husband, but your first reaction shouldn't be to snap back in your husband's defense. Talk to your husband first and offer support. Then, presenting a united front, the two of you should talk to your father-in-law and lay down some ground rules: "We don't want you to say these things. If you do so, you won't be allowed to visit."

In situations where your husband and his father aren't talking at all, play diplomatic mediator. "Don't attack," says psycholgist Pauline Wallin. Ask your father-in-law for permission to discuss it first: 'Would it be all right if I talked to you about something?' People are more apt to listen when you ask permission first."