Dealing With Your In-Laws

If They Clash With Your Parents...

Separate the sides. In this case, it may be best for you and your husband to talk to your own sets of parents separately. Tell them that you understand that they're not going to be best friends with the other couple but that it will make you and your husband happy if they can at least be civil.

When it comes to social settings, it may be better to keep them apart than to deal with the stress of potential bickering. Consider the size of the gathering: If it's a small holiday dinner, you might celebrate on two separate nights. Bigger parties should have enough people that both sets of parents can avoid each other. But keep in mind that they are all adults, even if their behavior suggests otherwise. If it's an important event at which you'd like them to all be present―your son's first birthday, say―you can't, and shouldn't, take responsibility for them. And if you're given an ultimatum ("If they're coming, we're not"), simply reply, "We'll miss you."