Visit our sister sites:
  • All You
  • Coastal Living
  • Cooking Light
  • Health
  • My Recipes
  • Southern Living
  • Sunset
  • This Old House
Real Simple | Life Made Easier, Every Day
  • food & recipes
    • Browse All
    • Recipe Search
    • Recipe Galleries & Favorites
    • Cooking Tips & Techniques
    • Shopping & Storing
    • Tools & Products
    • Ingredient Guide
  • home & organizing
    • Browse All
    • Organizing
    • Cleaning
    • Decorating
    • Home Improvement
    • Gardening
    • Green Living
    • New Uses For Old Things
    • Cleaning 101
  • beauty & fashion
    • Browse All
    • Hair
    • Skin Care
    • Makeup
    • Makeovers
    • Clothing
    • New! Finish the Look Fashion Game
    • Instant Beauty Makeover Tool
  • holidays & entertaining
    • Browse All
    • Holidays
    • Entertaining
    • Gifts
    • Real Simple Gift Guide App
    • Holiday Decorating Ideas
    • Easy Home Entertaining
    • Holiday Entertaining
  • weddings
    • Browse All
    • Flowers
    • Cakes & Catering
    • Ceremony
    • Dress & Attire
    • Etiquette
    • Budget
    • Guests
    • Planning
    • Registry & Gifts
    • Real Weddings
    • Checklists
  • family & work
    • Browse All
    • Health
    • Money
    • Family
    • Life Strategies
    • Technology
    • Travel
    • Etiquette
    • Books & Entertainment
    • Money Management Tips
  • checklists
    • Food
    • Beauty & Style
    • Household & Finance
    • Health & Wellness
    • Travel
    • Cleaning
    • Family
    • Organizing & Home Improvement
    • Holidays & Entertaining
    • Weddings
  • blog
    • Browse All
    • Adventures in Chaos
    • Conversation Starters
    • Daily Thought
    • New Products
    • Simple Tip
    • Where We're Clicking
  • magazine
    • Browse All
    • Table of Contents & More
    • Road Tests
    • Daily Finds
    • Newsletters
    • Real Simple Products
    • Real Simple Offers
    • Real Simple Rewards
    • Back Issues
    • SUBSCRIBE
    • GIVE A GIFT
  • VIDEOS
  • MAKE 1 SIMPLE CHANGE
  • NO-OBLIGATION BOOK CLUB
  • REAL SIMPLE OFFERS
  • SUBSCRIBE
  • Homepage
  • Work & Life
  • Etiquette
  • Sticky Situations
  • Email
  • Print
  • Save
Woman with megaphoneFrank Heckers Page 1 of 7

How to Bounce Back From a Bad First Impression

By Sarah Hepola

Tips on how to turn around a less-than-stellar first encounter.

Perceived as Too Pushy

You think you're being a fabulous conversationalist, only to discover later that your blind date/job interviewer/fellow partygoer/ child's new friend's mom found you aggressive.

"One person's assertiveness can be another one's aggressiveness," says Susan Fee, a licensed professional counselor and the author of Positive First Impressions: 83 Ways to Establish Confidence, Competence, and Trust ($5, susanfee.com). "But the true definition of aggressive communication is violating the rights of others." Monopolizing conversations, not letting others speak, interrupting―if you're guilty of these violations, you have a few good options.

  • Do better next time. "We all make these mistakes," says Amy Dickinson, who writes the syndicated advice column Ask Amy. "And because we realize that, we tend to give people a couple of passes before giving up on them." So when next you meet that mom who thought you were pushy, hang back, let her direct the flow of conversation, and show that you are interested in what she has to say. Prove that your misstep was a fluke.
  • Cast your behavior in a positive light. With a bad job interview, you may never get a second chance unless you act. Send a friendly follow-up note, saying something like "I hope I didn't come across as too aggressive. I'm just very excited about this opportunity," advises Camille Lavington, the author of You've Only Got Three Seconds: How to Make the Right Impression in Your Business and Social Life ($15, amazon.com). But keep it brief and easy.
  • Stop pretending you're something you're not. That's usually at the bottom of this kind of behavior, says Tom Jaffee, who, as CEO of a nationwide dating service, has seen plenty of it. Consider the case of Clark Kent: No matter how hard he tries to act like a regular Joe, there's something strange and off-putting about him―because he's hiding something! "Your best hope is to be honest with the person," says Jaffee. "Admit you were just trying to make a good impression." And next time be yourself, and be proud of who you are.
  • Let it go. Cut your losses, but let the experience be a wake-up call, a reminder to temper your behavior in the future.
Next: Told a Joke That Flopped
Skip to Daily Finds slides.
Woman with megaphone
Woman walking near banana peel
table with empty glasses, wine bottle and vodka
Underdressed woman shaking hands
Woman wearing cropped pants and boots

Most Popular Galleries

  • Gray and black presents

      35 Great Gifts for Dad

  • Blue present with silver stars

      29 Great Gifts for Grads

  • Kristen Jones Connell with her dad Billy Jones

      36 Unique Gifts for Dad

Hot Topic

“If you arrange the refrigerator properly, you'll not only be able to find everything, but you're also less likely to waste food....” - Brigitt Hauck
More From

How to Arrange the Refrigerator

What do you think about this article? Share your own solutions and ideas

View Earlier Comments
Civilette Thank Yous

Inspiring quotes delivered daily

Get your daily dose of inspiring quotes, plus special offers.

Advertisement

What's Hot

Stuffed panda bear

What Causes Dark Circles Under Your Eyes?

If your dark circles aren’t quite this adorable, you don’t have to grin and bear it. Try these (en)lightening strategies to minimize them.

  • How to Sell, Swap, or Donate Clothes
  • Huffington Post Home: 10 Ways to Transform Accessories Using Washi Tape 
Computer deskNew on the Web
Make a Pretty Hanging Lantern With Jordan Reid of Ramshackle Glam
I have a major thing for blue mason jars. I use them for everything – drinking g...
from The Nest Blog - Home Décor, Cooking, Money, Health & Sex News & Advice » house & home
Heat-related deaths may increase with climate change
Heat-related deaths in New York City's borough of Manhattan may rise about 20 pe...
from FOXNews.com
13 Pretty but Practical Picnic Essentials to Pack
'Tis the season of alfresco dining, so why not pick a scenic spot for your ...
from POPSUGAR Home
HuffPost Tastemakers: A Meal At Nopi
Ottolenghi is a lucky man. Read more: Tastemakers , Ottolenghi ...
from Tastepartner on The Huffington Post
Marianne Cusato: If I Only Knew Then What I Know Now! (PHOTOS)
You hunt and search and tour and tour. Then you make a move and live happily eve...
from Home on Huffingtonpost
Guest Picks: 20 Pieces Full of Farmhouse Charm (20 photos)
Many of us dream of living in a centuries-old farmhouse far away from the hustl...
from Houzz
  • Browse RealSimple.com:
    • Ask Real Simple
    • Contests & Sweepstakes
    • Games
    • Makeover in Minutes
    • New Uses for Old Things
    • No-Obligation Book Club
    • Photo Contests
    • Quizzes
    • Road Tests
    • Shop, Prep, Cook
    • Real Weddings
    • Tools, Videos, Checklists
    • Site Map
  • Customer Service:
    • Contact Us
    • Customer Service
    • Privacy Policy
    • Your California Privacy Rights
    • Subscribe
    • Give a Gift
    • Real Simple Products
    • Real Simple Offers
    • Real Simple Rewards
    • Back Issues
    • Media Kit
  • On the Go:
    • Real Simple iPadRead Us on Tablet
    Get our Apps:
    • No Time to Cook
    • To-Do Lists
    • Gift Guide
  • FREE Newsletters:
    • Weekly Tips
    • Daily Finds Newsletter
    • Keep-It-Together Checklist
    • SEE ALL
    Time Inc. Lifestyle Brands
  • Connect With Real Simple
    • Pinterest
      JOIN US
    • Facebook
      LIKE US
    • Twitter
      FOLLOW US
    • Google Plus
      FOLLOW US
    • YouTube
      WATCH US
    • Instagram
      FOLLOW US
  • Food & Recipes
  • Home & Organizing
  • Beauty & Fashion
  • Holidays & Entertaining
  • Weddings
  • Family & Work
  • Checklists
  • Blog
  • Magazine
Real Simple Home and Lifestyle Network
Copyright © 2013 Time Inc. Lifestyle Group. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.