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Hosting a Bridal Shower

Aim to: Throw the shower about two months before the wedding, says Los Angeles wedding planner Mindy Weiss. This allows the bride to send thank-yous before the final wave of wedding preparations.
If you are late: Don't be. If you're not up to the responsibility of planning the shower, pass it off to someone who is.
Tip: Without burdening her with details, ask the bride-to-be about her expectations concerning gifts, games, food and drink, and whether men should be included.

Sending a Wedding Gift

Aim to: Send a gift to the bride's home before the wedding. "You do not have a year to send a wedding gift," says Peggy Post, author of Emily Post's Etiquette 17th Edition ($26.50, amazon.com). "That is a myth."
If you are late: Etiquette rules are rules. But, honestly, newlyweds (and even two-year-weds) are always pleasantly surprised by a thoughtful, albeit late, gift. And the bride has probably heard the one-year "rule," too.
Tip: If you send the wedding gift too early, it may be mistaken for an engagement or shower gift. Wait until you receive the wedding invitation.