Five days a week, your child goes off to a secret world called school. A parent-teacher conference is your chance for a peek inside.

Make the most of it by getting to know your child’s teacher beforehand. Gregg Sacon, a middle-school teacher in Sherman Oaks, California, suggests asking teachers for their e-mail addresses so you can communicate with them and talk about problems as they arise instead of letting them build up.

Approach a conference as a chance to solidify this partnership and to discuss relevant family issues. “Often students act out because of problems at home. Teachers need to be aware of these issues so we can give students extra attention when they need it,” says Geoff Barrett, a middle-school teacher in New York City.

Ask your child if there’s anything she wants you to bring up, and if she’s in on the conference, don’t yell at her about the D+ she got on her history test. “It’s awkward for everyone,” says Sacon. Also inappropriate: bargaining for a better grade. That’s nonnegotiable.