Problem: You’re nervous about the safety and well-being of your children.

The Reality: There’s plenty to be anxious about. Because you love your children deeply, it’s natural that you want to protect them from harm and heartache, and it can be hard to accept that you can’t completely control whether they get sick, do well in school, or make friends easily. In fact, “some worry or concern is probably a sign of good parenting,” says psychologist Steven Taylor.

You’re Most Vulnerable If: Your child had a serious illness or accident or had to be hospitalized early in life, or he or she has a chronic health condition. Or if you were neglected during your childhood, you could be overcompensating today by constantly worrying about how your kids are doing.

What to Do: Find a pediatrician you trust and respect and can talk to candidly. “Most pediatricians are used to parents who worry,” says psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, “and a big part of their job is to help parents figure out what’s worth worrying about and what isn’t.” If your pediatrician doesn’t do this, it may be time to switch doctors.

With worries that aren’t related to health — if your child is struggling with math or having a conflict with a friend, for example — ask yourself whether there’s a specific action you can take to deal with the situation. Does your child need a tutor? Could talking to a therapist help him better manage difficult friendships? If a solution presents itself, try it. But in the end, psychologist Robert Leahy says, “you may have to learn to accept uncertainty and your limitations in controlling things. It helps if you recognize that kids are resilient. They have to learn how to fall down to learn how to get up.”

It Has Gone Too Far When: Worrying about your children interferes with your own life — if you’re losing sleep, for instance, or if constant micromanaging is hurting your relationship with your child. “If your body feels tight all the time and you can’t concentrate on work, tell your doctor that worry over your child is interfering with your ability to get through a normal day,” says Nolen-Hoeksema. Ask about the possibility of seeing an anxiety expert.