The Experts

Joni Blecher is editorial director of LetsTalk.com. Her blog, Somethin’ to Talk About, covers the latest technology.

Pier M. Forni is the author of The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude (St. Martins Press, $20, www.amazon.com) and a professor of Italian literature at Johns Hopkins University, in Baltimore.

Sue Fox is the founder and president of EtiquetteSurvival.com, an etiquette consulting firm.

Judith Kallos oversees NetManners.com, a website dedicated to the topics of e-mail and Internet etiquette.

Anna Post is the resident technology-etiquette expert at the Emily Post Institute, in Burlington, Vermont.

Will Schwalbe is a coauthor of Send: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do It Better (Knopf, $20, www.amazon.com).

Jodi R. R. Smith is the president of Manner-smith Consulting, in Boston, and the author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman (Sterling Publishing, $10, www.amazon.com).

1. You’re walking down the street and listening to your iPod when you run into someone you know. Do you need to remove both earbuds to talk to her?

Jodi R. R. Smith: If you’re having more than a two-minute conversation, then, yes, both buds need to come out — whether you turn off the device or not. And that goes for your Bluetooth earpiece, too.
Joni Blecher: Yes. People want to know that the person they’re talking to is really paying attention to them.
Sue Fox: Remember — etiquette is all about making the other person more comfortable. How comfortable could your friend be trying to talk to you when you’ve got something in your ears?

2. Is it rude to check your PDA at a friend’s house?

Blecher: A little bit. But if you arrive at a friend’s home and explain that you need to check a few e-mails before you visit so you can give her your full attention, she will probably understand.
Smith: It depends on how you’re using it. If you’re checking on something relevant to your visit, then no. If you find yourself perusing other e-mails, you will send the message that you’re bored.
Will Schwalbe: Think of your PDA as a crossword puzzle. Anywhere it’s acceptable to work on a crossword puzzle, it’s OK to check your PDA.

3. How quickly must I respond to an e-mail? Are the standards different for work e-mails versus personal e-mails?

Schwalbe: It’s all about consistency. If you’re going to deviate from what you usually do, use your out-of-office assistant or automatic-response setting to let people know why they might not be hearing from you as quickly as they’re used to. You don’t want them to think they’ve insulted you somehow or that you are ignoring them.
Judith Kallos: Not responding quickly — within hours and certainly by the end of the day — to any e-mail might make the other side feel as though she’s being overlooked. It’s particularly important to respond promptly to business e-mails because that is professional and courteous.
Anna Post: The sooner you can reply properly, the better. Never leave someone hanging.