The maître d' has a table for you — right by the busing station.

Instead of sitting and simmering, ask immediately for a better spot, advises Julian Niccolini, co-owner of the Four Seasons Restaurant, in New York City. Waiting actually costs the restaurant, as it has to change — and launder — an extra set of linens.

If a draft or noisy neighbors make you unhappy once you're seated, flag down your waiter and "use a combination of diplomacy and seduction," says William Grimes, former restaurant critic for the New York Times. "You want to make that person want to make you happy."

Whatever you do, don't ask, "Do you know who I am?," threaten anyone's job, or rely on the $20-in-the-palm move, cautions Grimes. "In most cases, that just causes mutual embarrassment."

The best course is to put in a seating request when reserving. If you don't know the layout, Niccolini recommends asking the reservationist to seat you at a table she'd like to sit at herself.