Readers Share Their Experiences and Advice

Please note, the following stories from readers have not been edited. To share your experiences or offer advice to Jennifer, post a comment here.

Submitted by: Chandra | September 7, 2006 8:42 PM
Jennifer, I agree with the poster who said that happiness cannot be bought; so often we measure success by what we think we ought to be or have rather than what makes us happy, and it sounds like your current situation makes you happy. Besides, let me tell you what, Girl; I left the Bay Area in 1998 (for the Midwest) and have been wondering why ever since. Now it's my dream to move back to Berkeley, but my husband (who's never been there) says that we can't afford it. What he means is that we can't afford our current, four-bedroom-house (for two people! when did I get so shi-shi-poo-poo?) lifestyle in Berkeley. I think we'd be fine with a downsize (no kids! three dogs, though), but once you go spacious . . . I say love what you've got, and trust your gut. Guts never lie.

Submitted by: Jo | September 7, 2006 5:00 PM
Jennifer - My family is in a very similar situation. We (husband, 2 year old and dog) currently rent in SF as well. We actually previously owned in the Bay Area, but were able to sell and make a nice profit. It is true that the real estate atmosphere is starting to shift. I think it's still wise to rent in SF right now but things may start to change in the next 12-18 months. So many people overextended themselves to get into the frenzied housing market over the last 2 years. There's no way to predict what will happen, but it may be more favorable to buy in SF down the road. All that said, I believe my family & I will probably be relocating back east. For us, it comes down to having a yard (tough to come by in San Francisco, even if you have lots of money to spend!) and getting our child in to a good public school. The prices of private school in SF are tough to swallow and the lottery system currently in place for getting kids in to public school is just not enough ! for us. We want to be able to guarantee that we'll get in to a good school. It's a tough decision -- but I know we can make a wonderful life no matter where we live. And, as we look at real estate (in my & my husband's home towns back east), we are looking for homes that are in smaller 'village' type atmospheres to try to simulate the car-free, walking, shopping lifestyle we have here. Best of luck.

Submitted by: Amy | September 3, 2006 4:03 PM
Jen, Have you ever considered splitting the difference and settling somewhere in between? How about Denver? A beautiful city with plenty of culture and the sushi isn't half bad either! My husband and I just celebrated our first year of marriage. Our families were hoping we would make a permanent home in the more affordable Detroit or Cincinnati area. I am happy to say we just purchased our first home in Colorado. We live in the lovely suburb of Littleton and are always looking for new neighbors. We would love to have a nice young couple and their 2 beautiful children join us at the half way point between the midwestern relatives and the Pacific Ocean.

Submitted by: Lena | September 3, 2006 12:39 AM
Jennifer: I know things may seem tight now but, it would appear that you need a plan.

A friend was recently looking for an apartment in NYC for less than $800 and you know what, she found it. She started early (well before she HAD to move) and took her time to look.

So, I would suggest the same. Find a really friendly, reliable real estate agent (possibly from your gym?) and stick with them. You'd be surprised at what comes up when you ask the Universe for what you want.

Secondly, I would share with you some words of wisdom from the financial advisor, Suze Orman. Buy the smallest house in the best zip code/neighborhood. The idea being, you can always add-on to your house but, it's next to impossible to move your house to a better neighborhood.

Positive energy to you and your family!

Submitted by: Crissy | September 1, 2006 8:14 AM
My family (husband and two children) live in the suburbs of Washington, DC. We are not in the city but have convenient access to all the city has to offer. I am constantly amazed at the variety of activities going on in the suburbs. Our 11 year old twins certainly keep us busy, they are both involved in sports and love to do anything outside. If there is something we want to do in the city we just need to make a little more effort to get there. Keep in mind, children are more adaptable than we realize. As long as they have loving parents (parent) and are in a healthy and supportive environment they will easily adjust. But, If everyone in your family is happy where they are then why mess with success?

Submitted by: Shannon | August 31, 2006 7:54 PM
My husband and I lived in Downtown San Diego for several years renting. When the time came to purchase a home and to "stop wasting money" on rent, we were pushed inland to the Temecula Area in order to buy a house. The trick is you have to get in the house buying game (or you'll be priced out of California completely) no matter how far away from the beach or the city you may land...You can always get back with hardwork and keep that dream alive by doing just that work hard and play your cards right!!!

Submitted by: Natasha | August 31, 2006 2:03 AM
I think that for many of life's experiences, if you wait long enough, you will no longer be unsure of how you feel and what you want. With San Francisco, in a couple of years, you will either love it more or find it more awkward for whatever reason. When it's time to move, you will have no doubt. Your gut will tell you that you are making the best decision for your family, even if you feel sad about it for your own personal reasons.

Right now, our family is looking at moving to a city in which I don't really want to live so that our children can attend a (free!) charter school for gifted children that was rated #3 out of over 700 elementary schools in our province. It's an incredible opportunity for them and that brings peace to my mind, knowing that I'm doing good by them, even if it means some sacrifices to my dreams. Hey, there's always retirement! I can have it all, just maybe not all at once.

Please continue to the next page for more reader experience and advice.