Stuck-up Waitstaff

Instance: Your waiter "offers" you bottled water, but you choose tap. Instead of ordering an appetizer, you tell him you're happy with the breadbasket. You can feel the disgust dripping from his voice, and you just know this isn't going to be the relaxing meal you had hoped for.

Advice: If the haughtiness persists, Carlin says, "you'll just sit there and stew and spoil your meal. Instead, get up, find the person in charge, and say, 'We'd appreciate it if you could have someone else cover our table. So-and-so is not being professional."

Indifferent Sales Help

Instance: In the bookstore, it's just you and the clerk, who is on the phone with his beloved. It would be one thing if he were whispering Auden into her ear, but instead the discussion involves kegs of beer, fake IDs, and next Saturday night. You'd just like to buy your Shirley Hazzard novel and go home, but no amount of throat clearing can get the guy's attention.

Advice: "Walk out," author Carlin says. "No one should have to take that." If you've already picked out some merchandise, put it down on the counter to make the point that you've decided against the place, not against the goods. If a clerk is too immersed in a conversation — with a colleague or on the phone — to pay you any attention, that store doesn't deserve your business. Von Mueffling adds that "if you are truly determined to make the purchase, ask — nicely — to speak to the manager," or call the store when the manager is likely to be in.