Among other things, a husband or live-in boyfriend is essentially a roommate who shares the bed, too. Enforce the lessons you learned with siblings and college roommates: Respect personal space, do your share of the dishes, and take good phone messages, says Carolyn Hax, a syndicated advice columnist for the Washington Post."With a new boyfriend (who's not yet live-in), it's easy to see what you want to see. Be open to other people's opinions of him, and be curious," says Martha Edwards, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Developing Child and Family at the Ackerman Institute for the Family, in New York City. "If he didn't call when he said he would, ask why — but not in a paranoid or accusatory fashion. If the person is interested in being your boyfriend, he won't bail on you for asking." Address conflict directly: Don't let annoyances fester. And recognize when a troublesome trait is immutable. "If it continually requires effort," Hax says, "just ask yourself if you're ready to make that effort for the rest of your life."