It’s the start of a new school year, and you’re surrounded by freshly sharpened pencils, backpacks, and a whole new set of etiquette dilemmas that aren’t addressed in your kids’ textbooks. Master the do’s and don’ts of dealing with teachers and schools from this crib sheet and earn an A+ for diplomacy.

Do introduce yourself to the teacher within the first few weeks, because it’s important to establish a relationship, says Kimberly Oliver of Silver Spring, Maryland, the 2006 National Teacher of the Year.

Don’t bring up concerns at open houses or back-to-school nights. “It isn’t the time for individual conferences,” says Oliver, who suggests setting up a time to meet later.

Do talk to the lunchroom supervisor, recess monitor, or teacher if another child is bullying yours, says Linda Carlson, a teacher for more than 20 years in Pelham, New York. Ask for more supervision, and involve the principal only if you think the problem isn’t being solved.

Don’t commit to frequent events if you’re overbooked. “Look for something that requires a few hours for the entire school year,” says Anna Weselak of Lombard, Illinois, president of the National PTA.

Do meet with the teacher if you don’t agree with her teaching methods. “Good teachers adapt to the learning style of each child,” says Carlson.

Don’t ask the teacher about your child’s progress when you bump into her at the market. The teacher is on her own time, and “you never know who might overhear,” says Oliver.

Do speak to the teacher if you’re concerned about your child’s reading- or math- group placement, says Oliver. She can explain how (and why) the groups are selected.

Don’t send your child to school with cupcakes without checking the school policy, says Carlson. Some schools don’t allow snacks.