Greg Clarke

Saying No for the Sake of Your Time
Request: You are offered a promotion that you don't want. Even
though it means more money, it demands more hours and more of what
your boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.
What you should say: "I'm flattered that you want me, but for
personal reasons I'm not in a situation where I can take this on.
Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk
again if my circumstances change?"
Why it works: If you're caught in this enviable dilemma, your boss
will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.
Why you shouldn't feel guilty: By saying no to more time at the
office, you're saying yes to other things you cherish, be they long
walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.
How to avoid the situation in the future: "If a position opens up
at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in
the running," Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your
manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn't interested.
Request: You are asked to coordinate the bake sale again at your
child's school.
What you should say: "I know I'm going to disappoint you, but I've
decided not to volunteer this year, because I fear I'll end up
feeling resentful. Is there any way to get some of the other
parents to step up?"
Why it works: Often people feel manipulated into doing something
("The ice cream social just won't happen without your help!"). If
you can address the problematic pattern of one person's doing all
the work, you sidestep the manipulation. And if you say no, it
might force others (who never get asked) to say yes.
Why you shouldn't feel guilty: "You've done your fair share, and
now others can do this job," says Robinson.
How to avoid the situation in the future: "Encourage school leaders
to present the problem to all the parents," says Robinson. "If
people know an important program may fail, they'll usually remedy
the situation."