When you were in your terrible twos, you could get away with impulsive verbal outbursts. Now it’s unacceptable to react to your boss’s irksome remark with a sharp criticism of her management style. “You don’t want to say things in haste, because once the words are out there, you can’t take them back, even if you apologize,” says Samantha von Sperling, owner and director of Polished Social Image Consultants, in Boston. Before blurting out a statement, try taking a deep breath and counting to three before speaking. But just because you shouldn’t always speak dark thoughts doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think them, says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and the author of Don’t Bet on the Prince! (www.amazon.com, $13): “Holding on to your emotions isn’t healthy, so say the angry comment to yourself.” Carle also suggests responding to a rude comment with a positive statement and a smile. “Hold your forked tongue and offer a silver-spoon tongue,” she says.