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Become Fluent in Body Language

Become Fluent in Body Language
Frank Heckers
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Body language can almost always be interpreted in more than one way. Following are 18 gestures, with advice for reading them from a team of experts in nonverbal communication.

It's Written on Your Face...
Furrowing Brow
It Could Mean: She's thinking.
But It Might Mean: She disapproves of or disagrees with what you're saying. Or else she can't hear you.
What the Experts Say: "This almost always means something negative," says trial lawyer Maria Katrina Karos. It is often a cue people use to tell you something is wrong, says author Lydia Ramsey: They want you to ask them what they're thinking.

Frowning
It Could Mean: She's unhappy or uncomfortable.
But It Might Mean: She's concentrating.
What the Experts Say: Some people frown without realizing it, so don't comment on the frowning directly, says anthropologist David Givens. If it happens during a job interview, you might ask, "Did that answer the question?" With a friend, just ask if she's OK.

Grimacing
It Could Mean: Nothing. It's just a tic or a bad habit.
But It Might Mean: She doesn't like what you're saying.
What the Experts Say: This is typically a sign of discomfort or displeasure, says Ramsey. But she warns against reading too much into it: "Some people just always have unpleasant expressions on their faces."

Lip Biting
It Could Mean: She's flirting.
But It Might Mean: She's shy or feels pressured.
What the Experts Say: Suspects sometimes do this when they're trying to remember an event or concoct a story, says private investigator Steven Tavlin. It's a sign of discomfort. To put the person at ease, avoid direct staring and lower your voice. You might even back up or turn away slightly. "The idea is to take the pressure off," says Givens.

And in Your Eyes...
Rolling Eyes
It Could Mean: She's trying to be funny.
But It Might Mean: She is frustrated, doesn't like you, or doesn't respect you.
What the Experts Say: "Eye rolling is one of the nonverbal signs that is pretty much always aggressive," says executive coach Steve Watts. He recommends politely confronting the eye-roller, asking, "Do you disagree?" to get negative feelings out in the open.

Staring
It Could Mean: She's concentrating on what you're saying, or she's smitten with you.
But It Might Mean: She's being rude and aggressive.
What the Experts Say: Eye contact rarely lasts longer than three seconds before one or both people experience a powerful urge to glance away, says Givens. If the starer is making you feel uncomfortable, look away briefly to give her the hint.

Avoiding Eye Contact
It Could Mean: She's shy.
But It Might Mean: She's lying or trying to provoke you.
What the Experts Say: Don't assume the worst based on this clue alone. And be aware of varying cultural interpretations of eye contact, says corporate-communications consultant Audrey Nelson. "We associate eye contact with honesty, but in Japan avoiding eye contact is a sign of respect."

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