DILEMMA:
You have nothing to wear to a black-tie affair, nor can you afford to invest in a dress. Is it permissible to buy something, wear it to the party (steering clear of sauces and Shirazes), then return it?

DETERMINATION:
No, Many stores have lenient return policies — and many customers take advantage of them. But it's entirely dishonest and, even worse, disgusting. "If I didn't work at Bloomingdale's, I wouldn't believe what people return," says a dress-department sales associate in New York City. "Out of 10 returned dresses, I would say at least six have been worn. Some returned dresses smell, some have deodorant marks on them, and some even come back with alterations." Instead of playing the system, try a risk-proof, rebuke-proof alternative: Ask a friend if you can borrow a frock for the evening, then dryclean and return it.

FROM THE HALL OF SHAME: "I bought a complete outfit, shoes included, for a job interview, then returned all of the items afterward," says a woman from Rhode Island. "I even walked around outside in those heels and had no trouble returning them. Gosh, I'm shameless!"