If you feel bogged down by all the unfinished business in your life, you’re not alone. A woman I coach named Kelly has been divorced for three years but isn’t “over” her marriage. She obsesses about what she should have done, what she should have said, and things that still make her mad. Friends have tried to fix her up with interesting men, but Kelly has no energy to go out.

Another client, a pianist named Brenda, played in a concert recently and, in the middle of a concerto, made a noticeable mistake. She received one pretty bad review and three good ones. She was invited to play at an even bigger event but refused, convinced she would blow it again. She hasn’t performed publicly for months.

A third, Iris, was fired from her old job, primarily due to the jealousy and the insecurities of the woman she reported to. About five months later, Iris landed a plum job in a first-class company. But instead of being confident and proud of herself, she’s worried about making a misstep. As a result, she is bringing only a fraction of her talent to the new gig and is having a hard time producing the results she’s truly capable of.

So what do these three women have in common? They’re stuck in the past. Although the marriage is finished, the concert is over, and the old job is kaput, each of them is “incomplete” with what happened. Incompletions — the unfinished business of the past — worm their way into the present and make us feel overwhelmed, inadequate, and anxious. They distract us from our current goals and drain our energy. When we don’t complete the past, we harness ourselves to the old life and dampen, or even kill, our dreams. And, hey, it’s spring — the time to dream big.

Think right now of the things you feel “incomplete” about. They may not be as enormous as a divorce or losing a job. But even little incompletions add up. So here’s an exercise to help you identify them and finish them off for good — a method that I’ve been using for more than a decade with clients, including Kelly, Brenda, and Iris, that will take you from distressed and distracted to “complete.” Keep in mind, the aim isn’t just to feel better. The aim is to clear the decks so you can unleash your energy and get on with your life.