4. Can I pursue personal goals and be a good mother?

Anne, from New Canaan, Connecticut, writes: “I am a former math teacher and tutor and have been home for a year and a half with my two girls (one is three years old, and one is 15 months). I wrestle with staying home vs. starting my own education-based business focused on empowering girls in math. How do you come to terms with your personal goals while still meeting the needs of your children?”

Well, I believe what many have said before me: You can have it all, but not all at the same time. If you’ve chosen to stay at home, you can still make progress toward what you would love to be doing.

Step 1: Don’t confuse giving yourself 100 percent with losing yourself. Much of the material I draw on as a writer comes from my memories of who I was and what I learned when my daughters, Kate and Abigail, were very small. Being their mother has enabled me to discover facets of myself I would never have known without them. So don’t think for a minute that you’re circling in a holding pattern and that one day, when the children are older, you’ll land and get on with your life. This is life.

Step 2: Keep a journal in the small hours. Note your joys and frustrations, the little wins of your children, the unexpected discoveries you make about yourself. These insights could form the basis of any number of fulfilling part-time–career ideas.

Step 3: Develop that wonderful idea of yours during nap time or when the girls are momentarily entertaining themselves. You’ll be surprised what your girls will teach you, and the program you create can be based on your on-the-ground learning. The bottom line is, no experience is ever wasted.

5. Can I really reinvent myself?

We all tend to believe that what we’ve shown the world so far is the persona we’re stuck with. Lisa, a single mom in Boston, writes: “I want to walk away from the work (in promotions) I had to do for money and fulfill my desires to be a jewelry designer and an actor. Do I need to disappear from everyone who has a history (with me) to release the me they’ve never had the pleasure of knowing?” No, Lisa, you don’t. But you do have to “come out” onto the stage for your second act with absolute conviction.

Step 1: Present your new self with élan. The success of your reinvention depends only on the degree to which you buy it and enjoy it. If you’re convinced, others will be, too.

Step 2: Remember — people don’t spend a lot of time thinking about you. They spend most of their time thinking about themselves. You can change your hair, your voice, your whole style, or your whole act, and they might pause for a moment and say, “Hmm” or “Wait a second — is that good old what’s-her-face? She seems different” or simply “Wow.” That’s about it.

Deep down, Lisa already knows the answer to her question, because she closes her e-mail with these wise words:

“So much has happened in this seasoned life of mine that I would love to know I’ll leave the earth having at least given it a try. What have I got to lose, right?” Right, Lisa. Curtain up!