4. The Abigail technique. My daughter Abigail looks at a young man she’s interested in with eyes that appreciate his entire face. She smiles, looks down for a moment, then looks up and locks in again with her eyes. She becomes extraordinarily animated, particularly in response to something he might have said. And she’s always genuine. The bottom line is that she makes a guy feel better about himself when he’s with her than he does when he’s without her. And that’s a good thing.

5. The Liz Kelberg technique. A lot of women use humor as a flirtation device. I don’t mean they tell jokes but that they don’t take themselves too seriously. They’re genuinely funny people, and men love it. Liz, a dear friend of Abigail’s, is one of the funniest young women I know and a master of the one-liner. Here’s her favorite: “If you think I look good now, you should see me with the lights off.” She says it has about a 60 percent “return rate” and is still in the refinement stage.

I e-mailed a bunch of friends and asked them for their flirting tips. Many responded that it’s a lot easier to be a great flirt if you feel good about yourself in the flirting moment. “Nothing is more attractive than a confident woman,” a dynamic young friend named Maura Daly wrote me. (Actually, says Jim, “nothing’s sexier than a confident woman.”) So when you’re out for some flirting, walk tall, put your shoulders back, and get those molars going. Sheila Kotur, an old friend who is one of the most confident women I’ve ever met (and happily married), tells us: “You have to feel that you’ll get a response before you even begin. Some men are cold and indifferent. Forget them and move on. Remember — the fellow you’re talking to is the luckiest guy in the world.”

Then again, maybe in the end, Eva’s straightforward, “What’s the big deal? Just go for it” approach is best. Eva is the seven-year-old daughter of a marvelous colleague named Marsha Anastasia, and she advises us to keep it simple: “If you see a boy you like, you just grab him and drag him along.”

Now, you might need to refine that one for the guy at the electronics store. But if it’s a relationship you’re after, I recommend that you try Eva’s approach first. I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen? It’s Valentine’s Day. And let me know your “return rate” — OK?