"Hiya, gorgeous.” That’s what my father said as he stepped out of a yellow convertible on parents’ weekend at Camp Farwell, in Newbury, Vermont. I threw my arms around his neck and started to cry. I loved my dad — and my mom — so much it hurt. Everybody did. They were Fred and Ginger; they were Scott and Zelda; they were even, at times, George and Gracie. And they made me feel as if I could do anything, even withstand the overwhelming homesickness I’d been experiencing for that last four weeks. I still remember what my mom was wearing — a white flannel skirt, a navy blue sweater with horses on it, blue-and-white spectators. I have no idea what my dad was wearing. I know only how he made me feel: like I was the only person in the world. Just looking at him could perk a girl up. He was fabulously handsome — a blend of Cary Grant and Gary Cooper, with a grin you could see a mile away. And he carried himself with the power of an athlete and the grace of a dancer. He was unforgettable.

My rank on the camp popularity scale skyrocketed within hours of my parents’ visit. The counselors, who hadn’t paid much attention to me before, couldn’t get enough of me. “Will you introduce me to your dad — I mean, your parents — Gail?” was the question I heard over and over. They all said my dad had “charisma.” I didn’t know what that meant, so when my parents took me out to dinner that night, I asked my father. He thought about it for a few minutes and said, “I think charisma is passion demonstrated. It’s when you let your enthusiasm and optimism show and use your energy to inspire the next fella.”

My dad had an uncanny ability to “inspire the next fella,” and I’ve used his techniques for doing that in hundreds of situations: on first dates, in speeches, in job interviews. I’ve also taught his ideas about how to shine to many of the people I coach who want to come across more powerfully or persuasively. Most of my dad’s career was spent motivating ordinary people to do extraordinary things. He was president of the Kirby Company, a Cleveland-based firm that sold door-to-door what were then, arguably, the best vacuum cleaners around. I remember watching him at sales meetings. He was mesmerizing. He could transform the energy in any room from exhausted to exuberant in minutes. He believed that people were capable of achieving their wildest dreams and that his job was to help them.