We swim in a sea of interpretations. Wars are fought over interpretations. Elections are won or lost, the stock market moves up or down, ordinary decisions in life and work are made, all based largely on interpretations. Look back at your life. Look back to yesterday, to this morning. You called someone, and she didn’t call you back. You e-mailed someone, and he didn’t reply. Somebody gave you a funny look. What did you make it mean? Usually we make it mean: They didn’t like what I said. They didn’t like how I looked. They didn’t like my recommendation. (They didn’t like my makeup!) They didn’t like me.

It’s amazing how much unhappiness we needlessly cause ourselves by ascribing negative meanings to simple things that happen in our lives. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When we feel like this, we can learn to pause for a split second and ask ourselves these questions: How can I interpret what just happened in a way that gives me energy and propels me forward, rather than dragging me back and making me feel inadequate or frustrated? At this moment, what am I committed to? What am I trying to achieve today? When I worked at Avon (yes, I did work at a cosmetics company for many years), I was scheduled to make a major presentation to my boss one day. On the morning of the presentation, I saw him walking down the hall and gave him a big hello.

“Hey, good morning! How are you doing?” I said.

“Humph,” he said and scowled. That’s all — “humph.”

Uh-oh, I thought. Not a good sign. Maybe he’s mad about something. Maybe he’s mad at me. Maybe he already read my presentation and didn’t like it (we were required to hand it in the night before). Maybe he doesn’t think I’m doing a good job. This is what we do. We draw a conclusion and take it all the way to the most disastrous end we can imagine. Maybe I’m in trouble, I thought.

As the day progressed and the memory of the grunt and the scowl became more vivid, I grew more and more nervous. I even thought of canceling the presentation and sending my boss a note saying, “Sorry to have bothered you. I should have realized what I was going to present wasn’t such a good idea.” We’re so efficient that we douse our own flames to save time and so no one else has to do it.

But I pulled myself together. Wait a second, I thought. What are the facts here? There were only two: I had said “hello,” and he had grunted (and scowled). That’s all. All the rest I had made up. I had made his crankiness all about me and my supposed shortcomings. Hold it, Gail, I told myself. Maybe, just this once, it’s not about you. Maybe it’s about something or someone else. Something totally out of your control. And, anyway, what are you committed to? What are you out to accomplish today? Well, I had the answer to that. My team and I were presenting a major proposal to my boss for the launch of the Avon Breast Cancer Crusade, a fund-raiser for programs all over the country to help women learn about the importance of mammograms and self-examination. We were all passionate about this concept. This was no time to lose courage. It was a time to be bold.

So I decided to make up a different interpretation for what had occurred, one that would propel me forward, not backward. Maybe my boss had gotten some news he didn’t like. Maybe he felt comfortable enough with me and trusted me enough to let me see how annoyed he was. Maybe everything was all right.

My team and I met before the meeting and ran through the presentation one more time. “No matter what happens,” I said, “we can be proud of our work. It’s important. We could help save lives. Let’s go in there and sell it! He’s going to love it.”