A few years ago, I had just given a speech for a large corporation and was heading for the elevators when the company’s head of human resources accosted me. “Gail,” she said, “do you remember when we were having lunch earlier today, and you were looking at me so hard?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said.

“Well, I know you were thinking something was wrong with my makeup.”

“What?” I said. “No, I…”

“Yes, I know that’s what you were thinking. I mean, you used to work at a cosmetics company and everything. So tell me — what should I do differently?”

I was flabbergasted. “I was looking at you so hard,” I said, “because I was listening to you so hard. Your makeup looks great. Honest.”

I finally managed to convince her before I got into the elevator that she looked fine, but it wasn’t easy. She was so sure she was right. The fact was, I had been looking at her hard. Her interpretation was that something was wrong — in this case, with her makeup. How often do we come up with interpretations for things that happen or that are said that are absolutely false and usually negative? And then become incredibly unhappy or even angry for all the wrong reasons? We all do it, all the time. Here’s the way it works: Something happens or someone says something — a fact — and, in a heartbeat, we make it mean something: an interpretation. Fact and interpretation get mushed together, and that becomes our “truth” or “reality.”