Most of us are afraid to be controversial, or even to be too intensely who we are. We’re like lemonade with too much water in it and too few lemons. We dilute our “flavor” so we won’t offend anyone. And, in the process, we give away our power, the essence of who we are that makes us unique and unforgettable.

This tendency to suppress what makes us different is hardly surprising. From the time we’re little, our parents, our teachers, our employers, coach us to conform, to fit in, to not get “carried away.” And we spend a lot of effort and money in following this advice. We buy the right clothes, wear the right makeup, drive the right car — all so that we get the approval of as many people as possible. In Arthur Miller’s landmark play Death of a Salesman, the protagonist, Willy Loman, counsels his son Biff: “Be liked and you will never want.” But, at the end of the play, it’s Biff’s friend Bernard, the nerdy guy Willy made fun of, the guy who is not particularly “well liked,” who becomes not only successful and respected but happy.

Truth is, the world belongs not to the one who fits in but to the one who stands out. In music, art, architecture, entertainment, literature, politics, and business, it’s the maverick, the one who gets “carried away,” who wins the day. OK, so you may not want to rule the world or win public office or even be the next American Idol. But to get whatever it is you do want, the principle is the same: Be unabashedly yourself.