Expressing your sorrow to a close friend who has suffered a loss is hard enough. When the grieving party isn’t one of your nearest and dearest but an acquaintance, putting pen to paper can seem especially daunting. But sending a note of this kind doesn’t have to be an arduous undertaking. “The purpose of writing a condolence note is to connect with someone and to acknowledge the loss. You want to let the person know that she is not alone,” says Florence Isaacs, author of Just a Note to Say…: The Perfect Words for Every Occasion (Crown, $18, www.amazon.com). “For expected deaths, it’s fine to write something like ‘I was so sorry to hear about your father’s passing. Just want you to know I am thinking of you. I send my sincere condolences, Katherine.’ There is no better thing to say than ‘I’m thinking of you.’”

Some tips to keep in mind:

Keep it brief. “You don’t want to write more than two or three lines unless you’re very close to the person or to the deceased,” says Isaacs.

Write it within two weeks. “It’s awkward if you wait months to send condolences, especially if the person sits in the office across from you and you see them daily,” says Isaacs.

Use tasteful stationery, free of garish designs and colors. A white, gray, or cream correspondence card about 4 1/2 by 6 inches is the perfect size, and a name or a monogram at the top is acceptable (unless it’s in a bright color). A preprinted greeting card shouldn’t be your first choice, but if you do use one, personalize it with a few words of your own. Never simply sign it and send it.

And common blunders to avoid:

Don’t say “It was meant to be” or “He’s better off now,” because you have no idea what’s going on in the recipient’s mind.

Avoid religious sentiment if you don’t know the person well. She might not share your views.

Don’t e-mail a condolence note, but don’t be afraid to write a reply message if someone has told you of a death electronically. You can say “I’m so sorry” and then follow up with a hand-written note if you’re so inclined.